I know I've emailed at least three people and not gotten responses. Just hellos and how are yous and such, nothing important. I don't really feel rejected, because I know people are busy - but it's still nice to hear from people.
I talked to mom about dad leaving, and she more or less quelled my fears about her and dad having problems. She said that people who have been married 27 years don't just break up - and that if they were having problems dad would come back and work on them because his family is more important than any job. So that's good enough for me. I still can't help but feel weird when I think about only seeing my dad on weekends (or less).
He leaves tomorrow. He says he doesn't know when he'll be back, but that he's hoping for Thanksgiving. I guess it's something to look forward to.
Everytime I think about him leaving I tear up, and then think about something else. I've never been faced with this situation before, and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it.
Does thinking about something else instead of focusing on my problems mean that I'm unwilling to face my fears? Am I a coward because whenever the going gets tough I daydream about being back in England, away from this mess?
I need to be out of here. And by here I mean this stage of life. I need something besides tae kwon do that can make me happy - because right now, everything else just isn't cutting it.
posted by Lisa @ 10:45 PM
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