Words cannot express how unbelievably excited I am at the prospect of going to school. I'm already thinking about book bags and transportation and going out with my friends for lunch. But the reality is that I've got a long year ahead of me before that happens. Lots of money to be saved.
But at this moment, all I'm thinking about is spending it. I've decided that I'm heading to Barcelona/England with my friends from Manchester in February. I'm about a day away from buying my tickets. I know that this will be quite expensive, but as my mom put it: "if you want to go, go. You'll regret it if you don't". And I would. So I'm going.
I want to go back for longer than two weeks, which will not come as a surprise to any of you. But I've come to the realization that I have an intense fear of being forgotten. It's similar to the feeling I expirienced when Doug and I broke up - all the sudden I was reduced in status to just an "ex-girlfriend". To no longer be a part of my friends life is hard to accept. I'll just have to deal with the fact that things have changed. Life goes on without me.
Someone did tell me before I left that there would be a "big, Lisa-shaped hole" in his schedule and message inbox. I just wish that the hole was big enough to warrent an email.
I'll continue to send emails and wait on replies from the people that were closest to me. And in the meantime I'll reminice about when it took more than an unread email to overlook me.
I love and miss you more than words can tell.
posted by Lisa @ 12:38 AM
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