A girl I went to school with died on Tuesday. Her name was Emily Francis, and she died of pneumonia. She battled cancer in her grade 12 year, and the result was an immune system that was virtually non-existant.
She was in a few of my classes. I remember her being the only person to have a higher mark than me in grade 9 english. I sat beside her in grade 10 english. She was extremely smart, and so nice.
I don't often get mad at God. But right now, I'm not impressed. It seems so backwards, so unfair. People my age shouldn't die. Not when they have such potential, so much infront of them.
The sermon on Sunday was about divine healing. We had people talk about how they had been miraculously healed - one guy fell thirty feet off a balcony and landed on his head. Another had an infection, similar to the flesh eating disease, that attacked his inner organs. He was also severely brain damaged from a week of a lack of oxygen to the brain (a result of being in a coma). Looking at a CT scan three days after the initial diagnosis, though, there is absolutely no sign of brain damage - and he was completely better within a few weeks.
I think it's great that those people lived, but I couldn't help but wonder why he didn't heal any of the people that were close to me. And it may be a selfish thing to think, but it comes into my mind when I'm missing my grandma.
I don't understand God, and I don't claim to. But there must be things that I cannot see. And I'm not so full of myself so as to think that I know better than God. So I guess all I can do is trust that this is what was supposed to happen, and I have no idea why.
It still sucks.
I hate pondering death, because I never find a satisfying answer.
posted by Lisa @ 12:47 AM
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